Experiencing the absence of love from others is hard.
As though you are a temporary void in people’s lives that fills them until a certain point where you are no longer needed
Yes, it hurts. Extremely. You can never get a warning of when it occurs and even when you finally realise, it cuts deep.
We have that desire to place immense time and effort on people who we care about. Wanting to be the one to remind them to have hope, how much God loves them, to make them smile when they go through times of strife, and of just being there. The memories: you wouldn’t take it all back for the world but you can’t help but feel the human emotions of sadness and anguish when it is not reciprocated back.
More so, when it comes to the point where you feel basically non-existent in their life. They begin to live life right past you. Like clockwork, their days continue on whilst you are left stationary.
And the human condition is crying out: ‘all of this has gone to sheer waste.’
The unfortunate truth is that it happens and you may be doing it subconsciously to others just as much as you feel that it is happening to you. However there is a light, a reason, hope behind it all. These are part of the cross in striving to love like Christ.
If I was to pinpoint something that I got out of the year or grown in: it is accepting this cross and to love unconditionally. The Lord was never particular when it came to who He loved or whether or not they loved Him in return in the same manner and we too should do the same. If you need a reminder, look to the cross and the symbol of a perfect sacrifice made for us. Look to His love that never disappoints, that overflows with grace and will never diminish like a phase.
Pour your heart out to them, by all means to the people around you even when you yourself may be struggling. When your heart does not feel like it is in tact anymore: keep going.
Love with the intent of not expecting anything in return: to lead them to Heaven. Understand that every little deed that you do has not gone to waste: be life giving in your actions and your words with no expectation of a lavish reward on this Earth. If they stay present in your life be blessed and even if they do not continue to be blessed anyway.
Take that cross: know that the Lord is helping you carry it when you fall and even when you’re walking with it.
Never stop what you invested in when it comes to looking out for the people God entrusted you with.
Beyond the pain, through the hiding of deep heartbreak:
Continue to love them anyway.